How To Help Athletes Move Through the Stages of Grief After Injury

For athletes, injuries can cause the same feeling of grief that comes from losing a loved one.

Athletes may experience denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and hopefully, acceptance (along with a full recovery!). But during the process, it can feel difficult for a caregiver to know how to best help an athlete navigate grief.

Here, TrueSport Expert Dennis Coonan, Program Manager of the Sports Medicine Center and athletic trainer at the Children’s Hospital Colorado, breaks down the stages of grief through the lens of a sports injury, and provides advice for caregivers who are trying to help their athletes cope.

Injuries often create grief for athletes like other traumatic losses might

For caregivers, it’s important to understand that an athlete’s injury—especially one that may take them away from their sport for a significant period of time—isn’t just a physical trauma. It’s a mental and emotional one. And while losing a few weeks of playing time may not seem like a traumatic experience to you, it can feel catastrophic for a teen athlete with dreams of playing in college. Coonan also explains that for many athletes, their identity and self-worth are closely tied to their athletic prowess, and an injury can cause a seismic shift in how they feel about themselves.

The changes in exercise, sleep, and dietary patterns that often occur post-injury can also exacerbate these feelings. Coonan adds that some athletes, especially those with a longer-term injury, may struggle with body composition changes and body image issues that stem from not being able to exercise as much as they had been in the past.

For caregivers, the most important thing to remember is that your athlete’s feelings are valid. It may seem silly to you, but for them, it can truly feel like life as they know it has ended. So lead with empathy and openness, rather than shutting down their complaints.

The good news for caregivers is that often, this grief follows the same pattern of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. “If you can recognize the stage of grief that your athlete is in, you can support them effectively in different ways,” says Coonan. “You can help give them the best chance of moving forward, where they can be productive in their recovery as an active participant rather than just sitting back and hoping something good happens.”

Denial

Denial is incredibly common for athletes, especially for injuries that are less obvious. Sprains, strains, back pain, and even concussions can be largely invisible, and an athlete who doesn’t want to give up playing time may try to play through an injury or deny that it happened at all.

When an athlete is in denial, they often won’t listen to a caregiver who is assessing an injury, which is why Coonan suggests looking for an outside opinion. This way, you’re supporting the athlete and simply asking them to allow another expert to confirm what they believe. “Usually, an athlete is open to the evaluation because they’ve convinced themselves that they’re okay,” he explains. “If a diagnosis comes back that's going to affect the rest of their season or career, that's when you can start seeing them go into those next stages of grief.”

Anger

Once an injury is confirmed, don’t be surprised when your athlete shows signs of anger. It’s hard to be on the receiving end of this, but ultimately, if they’re showing you their anger they know you are a safe place for them to vent. “I used to tell my athletes all the time that it's okay to be upset. This injury is a big deal and we need to validate their anger,” says Coonan.

At the same time, it’s important to put a specific time limit on that anger so the athlete doesn’t get stuck. “I tell athletes that I'm going to let them be angry for about a day,” says Coonan. “But after that, we need to start talking about next steps and what recovery looks like for them.”

They might still be angry when that time limit is up, but at that point, Coonan explains that it’s okay to put a stop to any outbursts. “You can validate that they might still be angry, but they need to be looking at what’s next, not shutting down or lashing out,” he says. “Lashing out at teammates, doctors, coaches, athletic trainers, and caregivers may happen, and in those situations, it’s okay to validate your athlete’s feelings while telling them the behavior isn’t appropriate.”